Small Town Poet

WOW.... SORRY FOR MIA....

2009-05-15T19:48:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone ... I am trying to get back into the swing of things, and I am so sorry for being MIA. I want to get back into some photo work, etc. And now that the weather is pretty again, I am hoping to be able to do this.

You all know by now that we are EXPECTING ... a little girl, Miss Kaleigh Elizabella! :) We are due the beginning of Sept. =)

I will post more soon!!

Reading Time With Cali :)

2008-11-22T14:48:00.001-08:00

Reading Time With Cali :)
Originally uploaded by Small Town Poet Photos {Kole}

I love kids... especially the ones that want to PLAY with you while you take their pictures. =D Here is little Miss C again... she was showing me the whales and fishes and water in one of her books. I used an action from the lovely Rita of CoffeeTea Photography.called Coffee Shoppe Vintage. And added something a little extra in texture. But anyway, this little girl is so sweet and full of life that every time I see her (as long as she is feeling well) I have to photograph her!! :)

{K}

{Musing Muses}

2008-11-15T10:52:00.000-08:00

So my heart is completely captured by certain things ... i.e. my husband, the Lord, kids, animals & coffee. I know you are all laughing at the coffee thing, but it gets to me... I really cannot explain it very well. But here are a few newer pictures for your viewing pleasure....

P.S. CONTACT ME TODAY for SPECIAL HOLIDAY rates on having your pictures done :D

{Holiday Pricing!!}

2008-11-11T10:45:00.000-08:00

,,, is on its way!!! =D

{Cherish}

2008-11-03T15:44:00.000-08:00

This is one of my very best friends in the WHOLE world... Cherish :) We had a lot of fun taking these photos. She is such a great model =D "Love you, C!!"

{Tennessee Fall 2008}

2008-10-25T17:33:00.000-07:00

Hello & happy fall to all!! I wanted to share my fall time photos with everyone that I took a few weeks ago when things really started to change, and leaves started to fall. :) And also.... my soon to be new fur baby. Here is little Kodo-Emo-Hawk ... lol or just Kodo. ;)

{Twenty-Six}

2008-10-15T23:00:00.000-07:00

This week I turned 26 ... for me, my birthday is something to feel completely blessed about, and I do not in the least dread getting older. Also, when it gets close to time for my birthday, and I tell anyone that it is, I do not tell them to sound as though I am bragging; rather, because I am proud that I have lived another year of life. My life started out traumatically, and anyone who really knows me knows that. And then there is everything I have endured since birth ... i.e. all of the health issues I dealt with as a small child, the wreck that threw me the length of a football field at the age of 9, loosing my mother at nearly 18, that loss of my unborn son at 8 months of pregnancy at the age of 24, and so on and so forth. To me, your birthday should be a time of renewal and a fresh start; the hype of the actual "new years" is overrated as far as I am concerned.

Right now I am facing a huge giant in my life, and this is something that causes me to step back and evaluate where I am and what I am doing and how I perceive things. I have been having a tremendous amount of trouble with my vision, and went to the eye doctor this last week for some testing. I was diagnosed with having ocular migraines, 20/50 vision, and there was some swelling behind my retina in my "good eye." For those of you who know me, you know that I have a lazy eye in my right eye, and I am also legally blind in it. So now, on November 5th I have to go and see a retinal specialist for the swelling, and the eye doctor was equally concerned with where my vision in my good eye is sitting.

My love for photography and the arts grows increasingly by the day, and all I want to do is photograph peoples moments & capture a legacy. My mom was a shutterbug, for sure, and she never had the chance to do anything with her love. But, I do, and want to so very much. My resolution this year is pretty clear to me... "live life to the fullest, use what you have while you have it, and don't take anything/anyone for granted."

"Fortune In A Bottle" (& side note)

2008-10-14T20:19:00.000-07:00

I LOVED this... I SO needed to read this when I got it on my Orange Cream Jones Soda :) Thus, I had to take a picture of it and share it with the world. :)

On another note... we are making a big change in our life and with our comic book/game store, so check out our new blog. Please and thanks!

Doll Babies

2008-10-10T23:00:00.000-07:00

[L] Jayla & [R] Caroline

Jayla

Here are my two baby cousins... Jayla & Caroline... they were born a few weeks apart, and are so much fun to be around!! Here are shots I have gotten of them lately, and added my magic edit touch to. :) I HAD to share these DOLL BABIES with everyone! :)

[Kole]

Miss Holly :)

2008-10-08T19:11:00.000-07:00

Here is Miss Holly ... a high school senior w/ a big, bright future ahead of her!! :) She's an amazing kid .... and FYI - her favorite book, the one she is holding is her FAVORITE book... "Hannibal" ... lol

Fall School Pictures!!

2008-10-02T08:27:00.000-07:00

I am offering a special for Pre-K to High School Seniors right now...

This is a FALL SPECIAL good for October 5th - October 31st.

$45 session fee plus proof sheet.
$30 required package purchase commitment.
TOTAL :: (minimum) $75 -- a savings of at least $50!!
Session fees are due up front.
For more than one child please add $10 per child to the session fee.
Package purchase for more than one child will be a $20 minimum commitment.

If you have any questions at all please feel free to contact me via email with your contact phone number(s) & the best time to reach you.

I look forward to illustrating your child's school year... :)

-K-

[Now Booking]

2008-09-30T20:19:00.000-07:00

Announcement :: As of October 1st, 2008 ...

I am booking sessions...

maternity
newborn/infant
children
families (up to 5)
engagement
senior potraits
publicity shots
couples
pet portraits

PRICING:

Session Fees :: $75 (for up to 1 1/2 hours of shooting @ your local location of choice or that is decided upon mutually, within 20 miles of McMinnville City Limits & the location can be in or out doors or both, and include up to 3 wardrobe changes );
Additional time, miles and/or locations will and can be negotiated for; please feel free to consult me for the additional costs.
All Sessions require a commitment to purchase a minimum print package of $50;
A $25 deposit for prints is required upon proof completion.
Clients can receive a proof sheet or disc at a small rate (*5x7 proof sheets $3 & discs for $5) *$25 goes towards package purchase*.
The session fee is due in full at the start of each session.
Proofs should be ready within 10 business days after session.

If you have any questions please feel free to post a comment or email me. Thanks so much in advance for considering me to photograph a chapter in your life...

Illustrating Every Moment,

Kole
smalltownpoetphotography@gmail.com

*note that all prices are subject to change*

This One's For The Girls

2008-09-27T13:46:00.001-07:00

Pictured above is Miss Callie ... I was playing with her while waiting on my grandmother to get her hair done at her beauty shop. :) I just handed her all kinds of random things to play with, and we had a blast! She is such a doll. :)

Below is my Miss Aubrey ... I love this child so very much! She is my little cousin, daughter to my Aunt Cynthia. She will be 3 this coming November. I went to my aunt's to hang out & visit, and while these are not the sharpest images ever little Miss A & I had a blast... I let her dress up in my Super Girl costume. I love her auburn hair... this kid's a spitfire and so silly. ;)

A Few Things To Note...

2008-09-25T22:28:00.001-07:00

Soon I will have my prices for photo shoots up; just wanted to let everyone know that. I just started a second job at a local vet clinic, so my availability is a bit limited, but if you book ahead of time then I will most definitely be able to plan ahead. :) I do photography because it is an outlet - something I love and enjoy with all of my heart, and want to help you make page markers in your life's story. So please, please consider me if you are wanting newborn, infant or school photos done; senior pictures or pet portraits. If you have any questions, just email me @ smalltownpoetphotography[at]gmail.com :) ....

Kole

Family...

2008-09-25T22:23:00.000-07:00

I lovingly call these photos "My Golden Girls" ...

(This is my Aunt Jan, Memom, & Aunt Cynthia)

1+ ...

2008-09-04T00:02:00.000-07:00

Garner and I are celebrating one year of wedded bliss today. And I do mean bliss. :) Marriage is a journey, and I would not have it any other way than to travel it with Garner. He is my best friend, companion, lover, soul mate and any other possible words that there are for him to be to me. It has been a trying journey at times to get to where we are now, but I am ever so grateful that he has been so loving and patient with me. We are where we are now thanks to the Lord God Almighty himself.

{Garner, my love ... thank you for loving me, being true to who you are, and for all that you do for me/us. I look so forward to many more anniversaries to come.}

Photo Shopping...

2008-07-07T00:04:00.001-07:00

SBux1HighKeyB&Wcopy
Originally uploaded by Small Town Poet Photos {Kole}

I have been playing with lots of photoshop actions... this is one of my favorite photos in a while now. It feels very magazine vintage, yet modern all at the same time. This photo was actually a collaboration with the husband. ;) He thought it wise to make the flower "pop" out from the photo, and so ... it is. :) This is also a free trial action from the "Michelle Black Hideout" in Flickr groups... called HighKey B&W. So the action credit does go to her. :) [Thank you, Michelle!]

I want to start doing so much more with photography... (sigh) I just HAVE to find my nitch, and get peoples attention.

The Apron Swap

2008-06-22T10:25:00.001-07:00

Apron Swap
Originally uploaded by Small Town Poet Photos {Kole}

I belong to a wonderful community of photographers/crafters on Flickr... it is a group called *Sweet n' Shabby*. The group is new, and when started everyone wanted to do a "Secret Swap." The moderator took and assigned everyone a partner, and as most new plans of action, they don't always go off without a hitch. It took quiet a while to get my apron from the person who got me, and to this day and hour I am not altogether sure that the person I got has yet received mine. And that makes me sad. I have tried to track it, but it does not seem all that simple. (sigh) But here is mine from Miss Eden... :) I happen to be in a great location this last week, and had the chance to shoot some photos. So here is my "Little Blue Bell" ;)...

Sweet Memories

2008-06-03T11:27:00.001-07:00

Sweet Memories
Originally uploaded by SmallTownPoetPhotography

October 4th, 2006 and right at 8 months pregnant ...

Laying in bed, somehow sleeping soundly with my swollen, life-filled belly, I suddenly woke up to a giant pounce inside of me. At first startled, and then realizing what time it was [7-something-a.m.], I softly scolded the unborn boy from within, "geez, Levi!" Slowly rolling to where I could once again be comfortable, I lifted my t-shirt, rubbing and consoling him, begging for another hour of rest before I was too uncomfortable to lay in the bed any longer.

I got up and started my morning w/ my prenatal vitamin and some orange juice. I wasn't really all the hungry, but overwhelmingly sluggish; I just sat around, drank water and watched t.v., and chit-chatted some with the family; maybe I even ran a few errands, but those details are a bit more vague at this point in time.

3:30 p.m. rolled around and suddenly something dawned on me. Levi hadn't tousled around at all that I could think of since 7 something that morning. Suddenly I started to worry, so I called my doctor's office. They were closing in 30 minutes, and since I lived in Sparta and they were in Cookeville, they decided I should get ready and go to the Cookeville Regional Medical Center to be checked out in the maternity ward. I reluctantly dressed, and called my amazing friend Peggy to meet me at the hospital. Once I signed in at the hospital I got into the room, undressed, and they brought in the portable ultrasound. By 5 p.m. more family and friends were called, and I had learned of Levi's fate - he was gone. God had decided I was not ready for him, and taken him home. All I could think of is that he was now with his Gram's, my mama. And very seriously, this was the thought and hope that kept me from completely going out of my mind with grief.

My sweet doctor and mid-wife were amazing, and gave me my options ... (1) go home and take a few days to deal with what was happening or (2) stay and be admitted, induced and deliver. The later of which meant he would be much more normal to look at once delivered. So I chose. I chose to stay. I took awhile to start dilating. I went all Thursday, the 5th, completely drugged on pain medication, and practically oblivious to the world around me. I went from 6 to full dilation in a matter of a few hours that night, and by 2-something the 6th I had delivered my sweet angel. My sweet boy - Levi William Cacyuk (5 lbs & 12 ounces), dark curly hair, cute nose and sweet perfectly rounded toes and all.
His umbilical cord was found to be extra long, and apparently when he flipped around he was caught up in it; it was wrapped around his little neck when I delivered him. My family and I held him & took pictures, and he even had that perfect newborn baby smell. The nurses, doctors and staff were amazing. My family and friends equally so.

A few days later, we took him to the family cemetery to be buried at my mama's feet. Laid to rest with his Gram's (that is what my mom decided a long time ago she wanted to be called when my brothers and I had children). I still dream about him, his presence inside of me. I went last week to put a little marker on the grave by mom's headstone. The shoes and overalls were my favorite articles of clothing I had for him, and the teddy his first present from me - all things I decided I had to hold on to.

Even to this day, I have moments when a muscle in my belly, for whatever reason, flutters and it feels just like his little kicks and punches. He is my little angel; my sweet boy, in my heart, soul and mind forever.

Mary, Mary, Quite Contrary...

2008-06-02T12:02:00.001-07:00

This is Miss Mary ... she is my little cousin, and a bit odd. She is a hefty combination of "sugar & spice" meets "snakes, snails, and puppy dog tails," that is for sure. She loves everything from dinosaurs & horses & any animal you can think of to tea parties, dolls and cress-up clothes. She is also ADD ... maybe ADHD, I honestly cannot remember which on they call it, but in any case... she is not an easy child to always work with. I was visiting my aunt's the other day (her Nana's) to see my Mema, and Mary had this GIANT lolli; she said she was keeping track of how many days it takes her to eat it, but was sad that she would not be able to see it once it is gone. So, I offered to take a picture of her with it! =D My aunt has beautiful furniture and the perfect picture window with natural afternoon sun light. The focus was a little off, but I was trying to capture her quickly before she got ants in her pants and wanted to move. ;) Anyway, here is what I caught...

More soon as I anxiously await the arrival of my shabby/chic/vintage apron from my Flickr group secret person... =D I am so excited!!!

-Kole

Trying To Figure It All Out...

2008-05-20T14:03:00.000-07:00

Do you ever feel trapped? And not because of something or someone so much as within yourself. Everyday I wake up and wonder what will worry me today, make me anxious, or if I can find a way to just be happy - to live and let live.

I know that part of the reasoning for all of this is due to my relationship with God falling and slipping through the cracks, and because I have pushed things back and away time and time again to compromise for what I want or think I need; not stopping to take the time to see what He wants for me.

And, it has only gotten worse...

I am no one perfect. I am far from it. I let everything effect every other thing, and let dream after dream get squashed. And now, I can honestly say I am at a crossroads, and trying to choose the right path. My heart is sincerely torn in two.

Who I was once is not really who I am now, and yet I am not that far from that me like I want to be. Decision after decision in the world of free will has led me to the person I have become. I stare into the mirror and wonder if I really like the me that I have become. The answer for the most part is "no." And that is not for lack of anyone else trying to make me happy. I thought I was on a great road to finding and doing for myself, so that someone else could make me happier. Now realize that I am not.

Every hope and dream seems as far away as the nearest star. How do I get there from here? How do I deal with it all, and not get hurt or hurt anyone else tremendously along the way [without blunt force trauma being the result of injury]? I feel like I am going to implode, and that the poisons are going to continue to leach within my system and consume me.

So, here I am ... trying to figure it all out.

2008-04-24T17:11:00.000-07:00

Here are more from my Monday out... it is really a lot of camera play. Nothing too serious. Just seeing what I could come up with. Click on each photo to get a clearer view. =]

"Monday, Monday"

2008-04-21T12:56:00.000-07:00

Life has a way of stressing me out, and I really needed this particular Monday not to be so "Monday-like." And, guess what?! It only started out that way ... woke up a bit too early for my liking & could not go back to sleep, had a few delays getting out of the apartment to get on the road to Murfreesboro, and then once we got out of the house I discovered that my keys were locked in the house. SO, we had to call Garner's mom and dad to come and let us in. We also nearly forgot to take my step-son's lunch & glasses to his school before getting on the road, and had to turn back around. But, once we got to Murfreesboro everything went MUCH better. =D

I wish so much that I could have more days like this one. (sigh) But, oh well, such is life... "thank you, Jesus for this Monday!"

Heather-Kole

"Bring Me To Life"

2008-04-06T21:07:00.001-07:00

Bohemian Thoughts (Take 2)

2008-04-04T13:53:00.001-07:00

Bohemian Thoughts (Take 2)
Originally uploaded by SmallTownPoetPhotography

"Yum-O"

2008-04-01T22:58:00.001-07:00

"Yum-O"
Originally uploaded by SmallTownPoetPhotography

So... I LOVE Panera Bread!!! And I have a sweet friend that works at one, so she hooks me up from time to time when I go to Murfreesboro. I bring my Lemon Poppy Seed Mini Bunt Cake home and have it with coffee in the morning after I get it. Needless to say, I have been playing with the Macro setting endlessly on my Canon, and HAD to take a photo of this beautiful treat!! =D Here are a few other shots I took, as well.

I cannot wait to own my own coffee cafe/book & photo gallery one day.......... =3

Free Bird

2008-03-30T21:16:00.001-07:00

Free Bird
Originally uploaded by SmallTownPoetPhotography

Who I am now is not who I once was,
Who I am now is not all that I want to become.
Dreaming, hoping, and holding out; yet, trying to hold on to the now.

Constant Warmth

2008-03-27T17:32:00.001-07:00

I need warmth.

Constant, unending warmth.

Summer please get here.

I need sunshine and brightness to stay.

What's more, I need the sandy beach beneath my bare feet and the hear the ocean's song as it floods over my soul.

Summer please come and stay.

Seasons are necessity I know, but I need more.

I need the daily taste of warmth.

Sneezies & Sniffles x-p

2008-03-24T18:34:00.000-07:00

I hate this... I know I have said I hate cold weather several times in my posts now, but it is true. Mold & pollen mixed with constant weather changes does not equal a happy/healthy Kole.

Now, I did brave it and go out today... Garner surprised me with a wonderful surprise when we had to go to the 'Boro (Murfreesboro, TN.) & do some things today. He took me to Carraba's [Italian Grill]; only my most favorite restaurant EVER!! We also stopped by Petland afterwards to see the bunnies mainly. I am not a real believer in getting a dog from pet stores due to the whole puppy mill & inbreeding horrors that surround them, but I could not help but look at them. And then I wished I hadn't, b/c there was the most beautiful white & gray (blue) parti colored cocker spaniel I had ever seen. He was GORGEOUS & so UNIQUE in his markings!! And SO curly, just like my sweet Luke was, so I HAD to hold him! We took pictures with the cell phone.

So between the yummy food and seeing this little guy, it all made me feel somewhat better. That, and Garner and I had a beautiful day together!

♥ - HeatherKole

**Oh & P.S. :: It also SNOWED late Sunday Night/Early Monday morning!!! ***

Birthday & Easter In One

2008-03-23T18:09:00.000-07:00

Today was not only Easter Sunday, but Garner's birthday. We celebrated Jesus Resurrection & Garner's 33rd year on this earth. =D

We had lunch @ his mom & dad's & I threw a surprise party at the comic book store at 7 that tonight. It all turned out great ... Except that I had to deal with another stupid sinus attack. (Bleh!) Anyway ... =3 Here are photos from the festivities.

Lazy Dazy Saturday

2008-03-22T11:50:00.001-07:00

Lazy Dazy Saturday
Originally uploaded by SmallTownPoetPhotography

Just sitting here, sippin' my morning cup-O-joy. =3

I haven't posted lately, so I thought I needed to do so. I thought I would post pictures from my cell phone this post. Some people just don't understand the love of coffee, but I swear ... I MUST have Italian blood in me somewhere. (lol) Between my love of coffee and their food, it must be true. =p I have a dream to open a little coffee shop/bistro one day; with a little book-nook and amateur photographers gallery , btw.

So, how do you take your coffee? I, personally, experiment all of the time. They have many yummy things to go in it. I have not yet acquired the love of it black, but I am getting there I think. (hehe) As of now, sugar free Smucker's caramel syrup and low-fat French Vanilla creme are my tastes of choice. So fill me in on your flavor loves, and share any interesting combinations.

Feeling Nostalgic

2008-03-09T13:40:00.000-07:00

I miss Cheyna. A few select people from the last few years of my life very much. Cheyna was the girl friend who always knew what to do to make me smile, or how to handle me if things were not going right. And when she didn't, she alway improvised in just the right way. We would go out for midnight drives looking at houses in the ritzy parts of Cleveland (TN.), play the music way too loud, visit my Grandmother on weekends and vacations, and just hang out doing whatever it was we felt like.

I have, very honestly, learned in the last several months not to mourn for people, but there are a select few that just stick with me. And, Chey, she is one of those people. I am trying to get over California, because I know that it will always be a part of me & who I have grown into; that one day it will somehow be a part of my everyday life again. But when it comes to people, it is different for some reason. I can and have let most people go; letting my mom and Levi rest with the Lord, letting all of the old school friends whom I know longer speak with fade into the black & white of my mind's memory box, but some are still just as vivid to the heart as if they were a part of you.

Chey-boo :: IF you do happen to read this, please know that you are a very important part of my life, and that if we can ever rekindle any the good times we once shared, that that would be so wonderful. I both understand and realize that will most likely never happen, but I would at least like to make it a point to visit once a year somehow. Please get in touch with me. Please.

[Heather a.k.a. Kole]

Other Girlies I miss VERY much...
I want to see you guys, as well. I miss fun times with you both!!

Amber Taylor

April Ford Cross
[ I miss your "Mama April" HUGS =( ]

Dream to Reality

2008-03-08T21:39:00.001-08:00

Dream to Reality
Originally uploaded by SmallTownPoetPhotography

TAKE THE CHANCE

Fancy foot work,
Darling wand work;
Pattern in speech, rhyme in dance.

Don't fly away little one;
Please give this all a chance.

The sky's the limit, but not at the expense of merely going away.

Stick around and dance the dance.
Take the chance.
Dare yourself to dance the dance.

Dream a day dream,
Find yourself again,
Embrace and face the day.
Take a chance.

Your wings suddenly appear when it all becomes too much,
You want to fly and get far away from here.

Hold fast to the the ones that surround you,
Hasten to what you know;
Listen to your heart, and feel the song that sings in your soul.

Embrace those wings,
Let them lead you to things untold,
Attach them to you and let your mind stay whole.

Taking flight at any moment can only last for so long.

Be bold, show off those wings, and the spirit that makes you who you are.

Take the chance,
This world needs you and all that you hold.

**THE PHOTO WAS AN INSPIRATION, AND NOT OF MY OWN MAKING. CREDIT WaterFallFairy @ DeviantArt**

KoKo

2008-03-02T19:41:00.001-08:00

KoKo
Originally uploaded by SmallTownPoetPhotography

The weather was WARM, the SUN shining!!! It was a nice day. Yay!! Finally! Sorry for all of the exclamation marks... =D

Whimsical Chaos

2008-03-01T17:05:00.001-08:00

Childhood In Dreams
Originally uploaded by thesmalltownpoet

Alice in wonderland,
Tilt-a-whirl wonderland,
Falling into surreality,
Stumbling into a rabbit hole that is vast and deep.

Calling out, reaching for something in the beyond.
Holding onto something that is pure and defined in faith.

Chaos in whimsy,
Pattern in the calm,
Creation of organized clutter.

Alice in wonderland,
Tilt-a-whirl wonderland,
The veil of innocence crumbles and facade's fasten.

[Small Town Poet - Kole© 3/1/2008]

In My Heart

2008-03-01T12:31:00.001-08:00

In My Heart
Originally uploaded by thesmalltownpoet

Life is so surreal to me right now.

I have experienced the extreme ... from flat out elation to the most painful existence one could know. This photo can easily describe the way I feel right now. As I stare out into the abyss I see both endless possibility, and terrifying unknowns. God has a plan, I know it, so I try and hold on. I look to another day to make more sense of everything that has happened, and hope that I will feel more like the me that was sitting here posing in this picture for Garner. I was so happy & alive, even though I was still searching for pieces of my heart after losing Levi. I just want that back.

Trying To Let It Go...

2008-02-24T16:37:00.001-08:00

"Purple Sunset"
Originally uploaded by thesmalltownpoet

I'm trying to let it go, trying not to long for what was. I look at pictures from my time in California when I went out to be with Garner, before we ended up back in TN., and I TRY not to long for it so desperately. Never-ever in a million years would I have thought that I would want to be anywhere other than Tennessee.

After the loss of my newborn son & a divorce, I threw caution to the wind, and went to take my chances in California and give my heart fully to Garner (as I should have when we first met). Anyway, that is a whole other story, and I don't want to go into it; however, it needs to be said that I never thought I could leave what I knew so well and my family behind.

What I should have done cannot be reconciled at this point in time. I am trying to find a sane way to deal, to move on, but I just cannot seem to do so. If you have ever gotten into the "Guess Where I Am From" game with new people you meet, almost everyone thinks I was from California. And, apparently somewhere deep inside there truly is a "surfer girl." I left my heart there, and I cannot seem to find myself emotionally or physically - no matter how hard I try. Depression has set in again, and as much as I try to get it in my head that things are they way that they have to be, I simply cannot except it. Depression is like a snake, and it wraps & wraps its way tighter and tighter around you. California was/is better than any pill a Dr. could ever give to me. The constant changing of season, the ever-hovering cloud set that makes its way over my home-state, is a bear. Some days it is nearly too much to handle. I love Garner so very much, he is the love of my [earthly] life, and even though we did not have a lot I know we were happier and healthier there.

Granted, the intentions of coming back to Tennessee to be with our families, his son, and start a comic book shop; which is intended to give the kids of this drug-infested, teen pregnancy-ridden small town somewhere to hang and learn new hobbies, I don't know at this point if all that is justice enough for the move back. There is so much drama surrounding every decision it seems like, and the small town politics are enough to make you cringe. Oh, and not to mention the drama caused by others' around you, that inevitably leaks into your "bubble."

[SIGH]

I just don't know, people. I really just don't know. Moving costs moo-la and takes preparations, and then even more money once it happens & you get to your destination. I like my job, the people I work with, I like the comic shop people, too; but at the end of the day, what is there to be said for sacrificing to have a job you love and want that is never completely stable from week to week, over what is practical and certain?

[GRRR]

That is all I have the energy for right now. Thanks for dulling your eyes over my whining.

Kole

Missing California

2008-02-23T19:30:00.001-08:00

I feel your presence...
Originally uploaded by thesmalltownpoet

Oh how I miss California ...

I need sunshine, the ocean, the sand, the waves crashing against the shore; the incredible sunsets, the salty air, and the view.

Who Am I?

2008-02-23T19:28:00.001-08:00

Who Am I?

Real Name: Heather (a.k.a. Kole) Loudermilk
Age: 25
Birthday: October 15th
Marital Status: Blissfully Wed =]
Number of Children: 1 (Step-son, Christian Alexander)
Home Town: Sparta
Siblings: 2 younger brothers

Hobbies: Writing, Photography, Reading, Movies, Manga/Anime
Favorite Colors: Green & Blue
Favorite Past Time: Going to the beach after church on Sundays in Newport Beach, CA.
Favorite Writers/Authers: C.S. Lewis, James Patterson, Karen Kingsbury
Favorite Movies: Sister Act, Never Ending Story, Annie, The Holiday, Serenity, Spiderwick Chronicles
Favorite Music/Musicians: Acoustic/Blues/Jazz/Rock -- Sara Bareilles, Norah Jones, Diana Krall, Jack Johnson, Matt Wertz, Tyrone Wells, BarlowGirl, Falling Up, David Crowder Band, Point of Grace, Hillsong Worship, etc. etc. etc.

To get to know me more, just ask, chat with me, come by my MySpace & befriend me. I love to make a new friend!

Kole
Small Town Poet♥

Small Town Poet

2008-02-22T16:11:00.001-08:00

I will start posting soon, I just wanted to get this thing started for now. =] Happy weekending my people.